A Very Special Message, From Your God, Thor (or, "Breaking, Bad")

We got a call early yesterday, just before 8am, that if we wanted an MRI, we better be at the hospital by 8.

Small problem: we live a large bit outside a few minutes from the hospital.

Additional small problem: My migraine, which hasn't so much as paused for months now, was in a state so enraged that the S.U. was only here to answer the phone--and attempt to break all laws of physics AND biology to reach the hospital--by being afraid, rather beyond terrified, to leave me alone, and so had been delaying going to work until the last possible moment...

But there was NO WAY to miss a chance at the MRI. Even in extreme migraine, even with myself and my doctor having no contact whatsoever from the specialist, even, well, ANYTHING--

Tumour in the head? Always wins.

I'm fairly sure, despite all my willpower, I screamed most of the way there. The roads are terrible, and, each time my body gets thrown, the flashing intensifies, oh, and my head tries even harder to explode.

I had to wait through someone else's appt, which would have been fine, except they made me wait right outside the MRI.

As they told me much later--after I had humiliated myself by hysterically stumbling, mostly blind, through the crowd of waiting room B, sobbing and screaming and trying desperately to find my spouse, not understanding how I wasn't dead yet because it felt like my head, and my whole torso, was being broken, being beaten, smashed to pieces by bricks--an MRI causes perm hearing damage, and is so loud, "it's dB exceeds that of a jackhammer."

I'm so exhausted, and I can't drop into sleep for more than minutes, at most, before the pain, literally, smashes me awake. I'm still mostly blind, just seeing flashing, strobbing. It's not even white, but deep deep red. As if my eyes or brain are actually bleeding.

For all I know, they are.

But, for what, by random, has turned out to be my 500th post, I refuse to leave just crawling out in shame. I'm doing that, but I am also sharing A Very Special Message from Thor.

And, in doing that, I am in no way suggesting certain people need a hammer upside the head. No. I would insist they DESERVE it. Since they care about no one else, the suffering of others means nothing to them. Hell, they wouldn't feel agony at seeing their children, or any of their family, in needless pain. But their own cranium? Cracking THAT they would care about. Some people would be well served by a shot of pain, because they are...so completely absent of anything like empathy.

But I digress, Thor's Hammer has other places to be: