My Girl

Hissyfit is finally home after being released from hospital.

For now.

They want her back soon for chemo.

She spent her day lying on a pillow I put down for her. A princess deserves a dais. But a princess who has been sliced open like a fish, from under her chin, all the way down, deserves whatever she fucking wants.

I've tried to comfort her, but--for the first time in her existence--she doesn't want to be talked to, or petted, or anything. I was the only one who could get her to purr and even EAT at the hospital. But now, she just wants me to GTFO and DIAF.

It hurts so much to see her like this, and its worse because she's given me utter devotion
and support through my illness. I was looking forward to the honour of giving her back any small comfort I could.

So I've lost comfort both ways.

The doctors say she's going really well. The actual word used was 'amazing'. She's lost a lot of weight, but over late summer and into fall she has gone from her scrawny self to, well, ball shaped. I think she ate her feelings.

But that gave her reserves, so after not eating for a week, she looks normal sized. She's eating now, but she's having a horrible time digesting her food. Missing most of your intestine will do that. Her doctors insist she'll adjust. They also insisted that after what we've done with Phoenix, they expect to be treating her--and him--for years.

That choked me up a bit.

But hey, if it was all on stubbornness, refusing to give up or let go, they can fucking count on it...