Forbidden Dragon: The BlogGall of Marlo Dianne

"Bagels and Blood", short story, in Big Pulp (February 2010)

'Clockwork Dragon' by Marlo Dianne

"Clockwork Dragon", cover art, in Tales of Moreauvia (December 2009)

"Damp", flash, in Outshine (November 2009)

"Trenchcoats or Atomic Insects?", flash, in Outshine (October 2009)

"The Wedding Feast", short story, in Big Pulp (September 2009)

"Cooville", flash, in Sonar 4 (September 2009)

"Chiaroscuro", short story, in Cinema Spec(May 2009)

"Thou Shall Not, flash, in Everyday Weirdness (April 2009)

"Board Now", flash, in Dog Oil Press (March 2009)

"Whale Bone", flash, in Necrography (March 2009)

"Beneath the Crook", poem, in Goblin Fruit (October 2008)

'Fate Machine

"Fate Machine", story illustration, for 'A Test of Fate', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Hands Free

"Hands Free", story illustration, for 'It's Just a Child's Toy', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'A Delicacy' by Marlo Dianne

"A Delicacy", story illustration, for 'Eating Bugs', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Tasty Treat Revue' by Marlo Dianne

"Tasty Treat Revue", story illustration, for 'Wicked Wire', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Teef' by Marlo Dianne

"Teef", cover art, in Big Pulp (June 2008) (reprint)

"Change", short story, in Written Word (April 2008)

"Hunted", short story, in Big Pulp (April 2008)

"Very Tale", poem, in Tales of the Talisman (March 2008)

'Follow' by Marlo Dianne

"Follow", story illustration, for 'Graduation', in All Possible Worlds (October 2007)

'Pillows' by Marlo Dianne

"Pillows", story illustration, for 'Day Off', in All Possible Worlds (October 2007)

"The Monkey's Eye", poem, in Goblin Fruit (October 2007)

"Flesh", short story, in Down in the Cellar (June 2007)

"Bard's Bones", short story, in Fusion Fragment (March 2007)

'Fantastique' by Marlo Dianne

"Fantastique", story illustration, for 'High Concept', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

'Robo Rampage' by Marlo Dianne

"Robo Rampage", story illustration, for 'Iron Man', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

'Teef' by Marlo Dianne

"Teef", story illustration, for 'Whitening', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

"One", flash, in Tales of the Talisman (December 2006)

"Courting Hell", short story, in Forgotten Worlds (October 2006)

"Id", flash, in Raven Electrick (June 2006)

"A Breath of Power", short story, in AlienSkin (February / March 2006)

Amityville House of Pancakes

"Ahop 2 Cover", cover art, for Amityville House of Pancakes Vol.2 (September 2005)

"Gella Murphy: Public Dick", novella, in Amityville House of Pancakes Vol.2 (September 2005)

"Prick", flash, in From the Asylum (August 2005)

"Inticingly entitled, "Prick" builds more suspense and atmosphere in 200 words than some authors manage in 200 pages. The reader truely does justice to the material, using her intensely erotic voice to give the piece the ... umm... climax it so richly deserves..."
--Decker_Angelis on the audio version of "Prick"

"Another marvelous thoughtful story."
--Abyss & Apex, on "Chiaroscuro"

" appealing magazine to look at, with the bright, childlike simplicity and intricate detail of the cover art catching, and holding, the eye."
--Eneit on "Clockwork Dragon"

"If you couldn't tell out there, Marlo Dianne does not write formulaic crap."
--Jack Mangan, author of Spherical Tomi and host of the Deadpan

"...a good bit of fun..."
--Tangent Online, on "Courting Hell"

"...funny, superbly written and engaging... tongue-in-cheek murder mystery...The story twists and turns harder than a high Alpine road, and Gella's resolution of the mystery came out in a way I did not at all expect. Dianne's pungent writing style complements Gella's gritty narration perfectly."
--SFReader, on "Gella Murphy: Public Dick"

"I can't think of another bunch of authors I'd rather be published with. No, really; all my favorites are long dead."
--Sally Kuntz, author of "Froggie"

"Really original."
--Adrienne Jones, author of Temple of Cod and The Hoax

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


Phoenix had a seizure yesterday.

I was home alone. Usually, during the day, I'd be asleep. Because it's usually when my pain is less, and I can, at least part of the time stay asleep. But the tennis ball's giving me major pain. Any sleep I get it broken with pain, so I'd been up since 6am, both feeling like my abdomen was being torn out, and having another migraine.

A few days before or after, and I would have been at the doctors or the hospital. Appts and tests.

But no.

Instead, I was in the bathroom, when I heard a strange sound. Like...thumping. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. It sounded like it was outside. But it didn't sound like the birds, who are always landing on our roof to get a drink from the eaves.

My mind had to know what it was. So I limped my way downstairs. But I couldn't hear it at all there. Confused, I just stood in the living room for a moment.

And then, out of nowhere, my brain did a frantic flip forward.


Where was Pheen?

I started to run. Fortress of solitude? No. Basket? No. Cat Carrier? No.

Oh Jesus, upstairs...

I don't remember taking the stairs, but I'm going to guess somehow I did it at full run.

I dropped t my knees the moment I crossed into the bedroom. It's where he's been hiding when he's upstairs, when he doesn't want more food or medicine, or just when he feels terrible.

And i saw what my brain knew it was going to see. What I never wanted to see again. What more than twenty years later i still have nightmares about.

Phoenix was seizing. The noise I was hearing was his limbs, cracking back into the floor.

I got to the foot of the bed and yanked it into my dresser. i got ahold of my nightstand and shoved it until it was nearly in the closet, and then I dropped back to my knees. Cradling his head and trying to see if he was still breathing.

He was hyperventilating. And the seizure was so bad he had soiled himself.

I had no way to help him, no way to get him to the hospital.

I grabbed the phone to dial then SU.

And stared at it.

I couldn't remember how to use the phone.

And,as if my brain wasn't screaming it frantically at me already, I berated myself to "Focus! You're all he has!"

And then I dialed the number, still cradling my baby's head, and talking to him. In case he was conscious. His eyes were open. But that doesn't mean he was there. My own medical conditions give me convulsions. Medically they're identical to seizures, except that you're conscious to feel the pain.

I didn't know if i wanted him to be aware or not. I wanted him to know he wasn't alone, but i never want hm to feel the kind of pain i feel.

There was a flurry of phone calls between me and SU, who was breaking ever speed and traffic law that wouldn't be fatal to get home.

One of those calls told me to get the number for the hospital, so they could prep. Another told me to get cornsyrup.

If his diabetes fucked up because of...everything...and his insulin was too high....

I rubbed one globe of cornsyrup into his mouth. And because I was worried too much could have got caught in his fur, I rubbed a second glob, deeper in.

And I kept talking to him, telling him how much I loved him, and that I would love him forever, no matter what. That family is permanent. Our bodies will fail us, but love is forever. But to please stay with me. please.

And then he went still. He stopped breathing. His eyes just stared off, completely blank.

And I knew that we were too late.

But now I could hold him without the horrible fear of hurting him worse. I grabbed the knitted blanket off the the bed, the one I made that we wrap him in at smuggle time every night.

And I picked up my boy, completely limp, and held him in arms, still telling him how beautiful he was and how much I loved him.

Then his head moved.

Before the horrible pain could leave my chest, he started seizing again. His tiny body failing against mine.

I've always believed that if there are gods, they're cruel. The most abusive parents imaginable. And I never believed it harder than yesterday,

Only someone full of hate could have done that to my son. My precious little boy.

In the eternity before the SU got home, he stopped seizing again. I wanted to sing to him "Novacaine" by Green Day, just like I did when he was terrified about all the trips to the vet when he was first diagnosed with diabetes.

But my brain wouldn't bring me the words.

What it did bring me was "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance.

We got him to the hospital. I held him the whole time. They praised my first aid, said I did everything perfectly, but all I could think was it wasn't enough...

They kept him overnight, because he could seizure again, and they have anti-convulsants.

One night of snuggling I'll never get back, And I know there must be so few left.

They left him wrapped up in my blanket, and they broke their own rules and let me go back to ICU. I knew my poor boy had to be in pain. After convulsions, I hurt for days, because every muscle in your body has been strained far beyond its breaking point. But he lifted his head when I saw me.

And i assured him that if they'd let me I'd sleep in one of the other cages.

They didn't let me.

I spent last night and this morning crying. Not just for the images in my head that will never leave, but because I can't help him enough. My own pain means nothing to his...

<< Home

Online Portfolio: Small samples of my art.

Forbidden Dragon: Very small online print gallery.

They're Free. Take One. Or All:

"Despair" by H.P. Lovecraft (recorded live, 06/22/07)

Prick by Marlo Dianne (higher res single; posted 02/08/07)

Prick by Marlo Dianne (previously appeared in digital print; August 2005, From the Asylum; posted 02/08/07)

A Fruitless Assignment by Ambrose Bierce (posted 01/22/07)

Id by Marlo Dianne (higher res single; posted 01/13/07)

Star Wars in 230 Words by Byron Starr (posted 12/07/06)

Id by Marlo Dianne (previously appeared in digital print; June 2006, Raven Electrick; posted 11/30/06)

Seen by Marlo Dianne (previously unpublished; posted 10/04/06)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 1 - From the Dark by H. P. Lovecraft (04/04/06; posted 05/13)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 2 - The Plague-Daemon by H. P. Lovecraft (04/16/06; posted 05/18)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 3 - Six Shots By Moonlight by H. P. Lovecraft (05/17/06; posted 06/01)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 4 - The Scream of the Dead by H. P. Lovecraft (07/14/06; posted 07/17)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 5 - The Horror from the Shadows by H. P. Lovecraft (08/12/06; posted 08/14)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 6 - The Tomb-Legions by H. P. Lovecraft (10/18/06; posted 10/18)

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (03/27/06; posted 05/02)

Books I've saved, forever free for everyone:

Mary Hartwell Catherwood - The Romance of Dollard (100%)

James De Mille - The Lily and the Cross (posted 01/27/10)

James De Mille - A Castle in Spain (posted 01/05/10)

Robert J. C. Stead - The Homesteaders (posted 04/20/09)

James De Mille - The Cryptogram (posted 03/29/09)

James De Mille - The Dodge Club (posted 10/29/08)

James De Mille - The Lady of the Ice: A Novel (posted 07/07/07)

(As a PP for DP):

Émile Faguet - Initiation into Literature (posted 07/27/03)

Stephen Hudson - War-time Silhouettes (posted 06/17/03)

Ezra Pound - Certain Noble Plays of Japan (posted 06/14/03)

Elias Johnson - Legends, Traditions, and Laws of the Iroquois, or Six Nations, and History of the Tuscarora Indians (posted 06/08/03)

Magnus Gustaf Mittag-Leffler - Niels Henrik Abel (posted 05/19/03)

+474 pages for DP (from April - July 2003)

September 22 2005 - September 14 2013

All Material
© 1991-2013

Marlo Dianne.

All Rights Reserved.