Everything Is Ashes
Phoenix has been diagnosed with lymphoma.
Terminal cancer.
We were hoping to go with weekly low dose chemo. It can't cure him, but it slows the cancer down a little. It would make him feel better and he'd live a little longer. The vet said less than a year, at best, usually much less. But not treating him at all was never an option. Not in this family.
But it came on so suddenly that he lost half his weight in just a few days. He's under 8lbs now, and they won't let him leave the hospital. But the thing is, he won't eat because he's at the hospital. We learned that when we trying do his diabetic curves in the 'traditional' way.
I don't know if he'll ever come home.
Although I can't stop crying, and he hates it when I cry...
I've been doing my best to deal, somehow, with all the pain the universe gave me, but this....this is way too much. I can't live through this. And I didn't think I'd have to. The smart odds...they were definitely on my body failing us first.
And I wish I could take this for him. My sweet little boy doesn't deserve this. And seeing him broken is so so much worse than being broken myself...
Coming home to Phoenix got me through so many tests, and surgeries, and misery...
I don't have a home if he's not there.
Terminal cancer.
We were hoping to go with weekly low dose chemo. It can't cure him, but it slows the cancer down a little. It would make him feel better and he'd live a little longer. The vet said less than a year, at best, usually much less. But not treating him at all was never an option. Not in this family.
But it came on so suddenly that he lost half his weight in just a few days. He's under 8lbs now, and they won't let him leave the hospital. But the thing is, he won't eat because he's at the hospital. We learned that when we trying do his diabetic curves in the 'traditional' way.
I don't know if he'll ever come home.
Although I can't stop crying, and he hates it when I cry...
I've been doing my best to deal, somehow, with all the pain the universe gave me, but this....this is way too much. I can't live through this. And I didn't think I'd have to. The smart odds...they were definitely on my body failing us first.
And I wish I could take this for him. My sweet little boy doesn't deserve this. And seeing him broken is so so much worse than being broken myself...
Coming home to Phoenix got me through so many tests, and surgeries, and misery...
I don't have a home if he's not there.
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