Forbidden Dragon: The BlogGall of Marlo Dianne

"Bagels and Blood", short story, in Big Pulp (February 2010)

'Clockwork Dragon' by Marlo Dianne

"Clockwork Dragon", cover art, in Tales of Moreauvia (December 2009)

"Damp", flash, in Outshine (November 2009)

"Trenchcoats or Atomic Insects?", flash, in Outshine (October 2009)

"The Wedding Feast", short story, in Big Pulp (September 2009)

"Cooville", flash, in Sonar 4 (September 2009)

"Chiaroscuro", short story, in Cinema Spec(May 2009)

"Thou Shall Not, flash, in Everyday Weirdness (April 2009)

"Board Now", flash, in Dog Oil Press (March 2009)

"Whale Bone", flash, in Necrography (March 2009)

"Beneath the Crook", poem, in Goblin Fruit (October 2008)

'Fate Machine

"Fate Machine", story illustration, for 'A Test of Fate', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Hands Free

"Hands Free", story illustration, for 'It's Just a Child's Toy', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'A Delicacy' by Marlo Dianne

"A Delicacy", story illustration, for 'Eating Bugs', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Tasty Treat Revue' by Marlo Dianne

"Tasty Treat Revue", story illustration, for 'Wicked Wire', in Strange, Weird, and Wonderful (October 2008)

'Teef' by Marlo Dianne

"Teef", cover art, in Big Pulp (June 2008) (reprint)

"Change", short story, in Written Word (April 2008)

"Hunted", short story, in Big Pulp (April 2008)

"Very Tale", poem, in Tales of the Talisman (March 2008)

'Follow' by Marlo Dianne

"Follow", story illustration, for 'Graduation', in All Possible Worlds (October 2007)

'Pillows' by Marlo Dianne

"Pillows", story illustration, for 'Day Off', in All Possible Worlds (October 2007)

"The Monkey's Eye", poem, in Goblin Fruit (October 2007)

"Flesh", short story, in Down in the Cellar (June 2007)

"Bard's Bones", short story, in Fusion Fragment (March 2007)

'Fantastique' by Marlo Dianne

"Fantastique", story illustration, for 'High Concept', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

'Robo Rampage' by Marlo Dianne

"Robo Rampage", story illustration, for 'Iron Man', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

'Teef' by Marlo Dianne

"Teef", story illustration, for 'Whitening', in All Possible Worlds (March 2007)

"One", flash, in Tales of the Talisman (December 2006)

"Courting Hell", short story, in Forgotten Worlds (October 2006)

"Id", flash, in Raven Electrick (June 2006)

"A Breath of Power", short story, in AlienSkin (February / March 2006)

Amityville House of Pancakes

"Ahop 2 Cover", cover art, for Amityville House of Pancakes Vol.2 (September 2005)

"Gella Murphy: Public Dick", novella, in Amityville House of Pancakes Vol.2 (September 2005)

"Prick", flash, in From the Asylum (August 2005)

"Inticingly entitled, "Prick" builds more suspense and atmosphere in 200 words than some authors manage in 200 pages. The reader truely does justice to the material, using her intensely erotic voice to give the piece the ... umm... climax it so richly deserves..."
--Decker_Angelis on the audio version of "Prick"

"Another marvelous thoughtful story."
--Abyss & Apex, on "Chiaroscuro"

" appealing magazine to look at, with the bright, childlike simplicity and intricate detail of the cover art catching, and holding, the eye."
--Eneit on "Clockwork Dragon"

"If you couldn't tell out there, Marlo Dianne does not write formulaic crap."
--Jack Mangan, author of Spherical Tomi and host of the Deadpan

"...a good bit of fun..."
--Tangent Online, on "Courting Hell"

"...funny, superbly written and engaging... tongue-in-cheek murder mystery...The story twists and turns harder than a high Alpine road, and Gella's resolution of the mystery came out in a way I did not at all expect. Dianne's pungent writing style complements Gella's gritty narration perfectly."
--SFReader, on "Gella Murphy: Public Dick"

"I can't think of another bunch of authors I'd rather be published with. No, really; all my favorites are long dead."
--Sally Kuntz, author of "Froggie"

"Really original."
--Adrienne Jones, author of Temple of Cod and The Hoax

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Bad Medicine

I've been to the ER...maybe 9 times in a week or so? Maybe more. I lost track. Really. That's how bad it was. Plus there was The Cursed Clinic of Deepest Hell. And several doc appts.

Many moments of horror, rage, humiliation, helplessness, weirdness. A few sharp images of stunned confusion, after days of indifferent--and even worse, gleeful--torture with 'doctors' or 'nurses', when I bumped into sudden compassion from an actual person, and didn't even know HOW to react. Kindness was like endless pain not existing; it didn't seem real anymore, or even theoretically possible.

I considered, off and on in pain delirium, sharing these moments on the blog. I have shared some of them in rambling fractured emails with A., J., and R. But mostly, judging by those same people, who KNOW me, they're...hard to believe as real. And, of course, grim as fuck.

I eventually, by the great random, got a real doctor who ordered the right tests and got me a diagnosis. It's not a GOOD diagnosis, of course. It's horrible. But a CAT scan is compelling. It's completely impartial, has no reason for an agenda at all actually, and it's got FLIPPIN PICTURES OF YOUR INSIDES.

And yet my regular doctor, who just came back from vacation with timing quite worthy of being spit on, is arguing against it. He can't exactly ignore the enormous obviously Bad Thing in the pictures. It's the size of a fucking tennis ball. What, he was going to argue it was a smudge or something? No. But he decided that couldn't be causing pain. Really. So something ELSE must be broken, and he wants--of course--a hideously painful test to confirm. To start.

Um, you know what, I've got utter agony by itself. Now this. Plus hideously painful tests coming up, other horrors in various probabilities but still sure to surprise, and--of fucking course--possible surgery in the toss for the tennis ball. And I HATE sports. Always have.

And all those would still be listed on the GOOD side of outcomes, FFS...

I think, maybe I'm just crazed with pain here, we'll deal with the sports equipment that doesn't belong. You know, first. Let's concentrate on, say, FACTS. Before you wonder off, blind, into plain Crazytown: when you have a PICTURE of a WRONG THING that might as well have HELP ME in sharpie written on it.


Meanwhile, my specialist has decided I'm not responding to treatment for THAT disease. But my specialist and my doctor must have history more torrid than soap opera fanfic. They really REALLY hate each other. And they keep clawing at each other through me. Thank guys, I totally need your dumbass drama. Yay you! So my regular doctor is ALSO fighting my specialist on the proposed new treatment. :|

And then there is the Great Unending Allergy Saga. A deeply bitter and epic battle to beyond the rigor of death, just to get a test slightly more accurate than scribbling random circles on an old scantron slip. While blindfolded. Without even having questions.


I know I can't get House, I do, but we need to do this shit more efficiently. Can't we just shove all the doctors into a room and make them fight it out? By ideas I mean. I only want them armed with a whiteboard and sharpies. They can scribble out ALL my diseases and their repressed childhood angst at once, and then _I_ decide who has ideas that are least moronic / most competent / backed up by evidence and actual science / have the lowest quality and quantity of purely sociopathic tendencies / et al.

I'm already DOING this, but it's taking me fucking YEARS. Meanwhile, I'm in agony, and my diseases all have time to grow and play with my innards and, oh yeah, get fucking worse. Yes I'm bitter. I should be. This stupid shit is an embarrassment to the whole purpose of science and medicine.

To make my point, let me sum with this fact: 'doctors' have tried to kill me THREE TIMES in the past two weeks. See, they meticulously and tediously take down your drug allergies, your current conditions, and your current medications every time they see you. BUT THEN THEY UTTERLY IGNORE THAT AND GIVE YOU MEDS THAT ABSOLUTELY WILL KILL YOU.

By reading this, you're guessing they failed. Sort of. Oh, they tried so hard. But my body, broken as it is, is really fucking stubborn on that dying thing, even when I'm begging it to, asking people to please just kill me outright, whatever, because I just can't take any more pain. Problem is, they did damage. Serious damage. They gave me more pain, lots of it, and I lost use of my eyes, among the joy. Yes. I still haven't recovered, and I may never recover. And no one knows if I will, BECAUSE THEY STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY DID IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Let alone care.

I'm guessing if I was allowed to, say, just put out their eyes, they might pay a little more attention to silly little details.


It's just a theory.

And a better one than most of theirs...

<< Home

Online Portfolio: Small samples of my art.

Forbidden Dragon: Very small online print gallery.

They're Free. Take One. Or All:

"Despair" by H.P. Lovecraft (recorded live, 06/22/07)

Prick by Marlo Dianne (higher res single; posted 02/08/07)

Prick by Marlo Dianne (previously appeared in digital print; August 2005, From the Asylum; posted 02/08/07)

A Fruitless Assignment by Ambrose Bierce (posted 01/22/07)

Id by Marlo Dianne (higher res single; posted 01/13/07)

Star Wars in 230 Words by Byron Starr (posted 12/07/06)

Id by Marlo Dianne (previously appeared in digital print; June 2006, Raven Electrick; posted 11/30/06)

Seen by Marlo Dianne (previously unpublished; posted 10/04/06)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 1 - From the Dark by H. P. Lovecraft (04/04/06; posted 05/13)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 2 - The Plague-Daemon by H. P. Lovecraft (04/16/06; posted 05/18)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 3 - Six Shots By Moonlight by H. P. Lovecraft (05/17/06; posted 06/01)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 4 - The Scream of the Dead by H. P. Lovecraft (07/14/06; posted 07/17)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 5 - The Horror from the Shadows by H. P. Lovecraft (08/12/06; posted 08/14)

Herbert West: Reanimator - Part 6 - The Tomb-Legions by H. P. Lovecraft (10/18/06; posted 10/18)

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (03/27/06; posted 05/02)

Books I've saved, forever free for everyone:

Mary Hartwell Catherwood - The Romance of Dollard (100%)

James De Mille - The Lily and the Cross (posted 01/27/10)

James De Mille - A Castle in Spain (posted 01/05/10)

Robert J. C. Stead - The Homesteaders (posted 04/20/09)

James De Mille - The Cryptogram (posted 03/29/09)

James De Mille - The Dodge Club (posted 10/29/08)

James De Mille - The Lady of the Ice: A Novel (posted 07/07/07)

(As a PP for DP):

Émile Faguet - Initiation into Literature (posted 07/27/03)

Stephen Hudson - War-time Silhouettes (posted 06/17/03)

Ezra Pound - Certain Noble Plays of Japan (posted 06/14/03)

Elias Johnson - Legends, Traditions, and Laws of the Iroquois, or Six Nations, and History of the Tuscarora Indians (posted 06/08/03)

Magnus Gustaf Mittag-Leffler - Niels Henrik Abel (posted 05/19/03)

+474 pages for DP (from April - July 2003)

September 22 2005 - September 14 2013

All Material
© 1991-2013

Marlo Dianne.

All Rights Reserved.